The Vine, the Dagger, and the Butterfly

I didn’t realize when I chose my tattoo that its meaning would only deepen with time.

I had wanted a tattoo for years—probably since college.

I’d never done anything drastic to change my appearance. The boldest thing I ever tried was dyeing my hair red! Still, the permanence of a tattoo weighed on me, and I wanted to take plenty of time to think before taking the leap.

I prayed about what kind of tattoo to get, though the story was already forming in my mind.

I have always been a creature of control. Leaving things up to chance has always felt foreign—unsafe.

But God calls me daily, through His Word and His Spirit, to surrender. I have to remind myself of that again and again. So why not mark it permanently on my forearm?

The dagger represents my desire to maintain control over my own life. My destiny, my hopes, my dreams—I believed it was all up to me. I thought I could decide the trajectory of my future.

But God calls me to something higher. Something wiser. A path I may not always understand, but one I must trust because His plan is always better.

So the dagger is shattered, split into pieces—rendered useless in my own hand.

From that breaking, a vine winds itself around the fragments. John 15:5 (“I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me, and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.”) captures the picture perfectly: Christ surrounding me, guiding me into His plan.

And from that vine comes new life. What better symbol of transformation than a butterfly?

Butterflies have followed me all my life—appearing at moments of decision, reminders that I needed the Lord to guide my steps. It felt right that one should represent my “best self”—a self that is really a reflection of Christ.

I’m still growing every day. Some days I feel ashamed when I look at my arm, knowing how often I’ve failed to live out its message. Other days, I feel proud—knowing that God is, too.

The message hasn’t changed, but it has grown with me. My desires may shift, but the goal remains the same:

To remain in Christ, and He in me.

To live a life that points to Him.

And to lead others into His truth and mercy.